Tender Life experiences

Walk and Keep Your Eyes Open

/ Norman Eric Peterson / Leave a comment

I was finishing up a 2 hour prayer meeting in town and was going to drive to an appointment about a mile and a half away. The appointment was with my chiropractor. .

So when I was walking out to my car, I ‘heard a voice’ in my mind. Akin to remembering a forgotten chore. The strong voice of someone in the family. Undeniable and at times, saying something I did not want to do.

“Walk to your appointment” ‘ “It’s a very good day for a walk” ‘“There is a very nice trail to your right! Your bicycle club helped build it!” Three times I tried to ignore that still soft voice. The soft voice then said; “keep your eyes open” I thought of treasure to be found on the trail and I began walking, now somewhat eagerly. Treasure! No gold or folded money was seen except trash and waterlogged cigarette remnants. “Cross the road” was now ‘heard’ I obeyed. Instantly, after crossing, I saw envelopes in the grassy ditch. Many of them and midst them, a small broken wood box. Dozens of envelopes scattered for 20 feet in the grass.

I began gathering the envelopes. They were all addressed to the same person in a town 20 miles away and all were postmarked with a military return location, Korea from 60 years past. I opened one and a soldier was writing home. Touching base with simple questions: “How is the combine working?” Farm things. The few dozen envelopes and the busted box were easy to carry to my appointment and Intrigued and excited now, I walked back to town and drove home with the treasure.

The last name on the envelopes was familiar and Julie and I called after finding the families last name in a phone book. A kinship girl from there had that name. That young woman answered and told us that the letters were all from her Grandfather and his home was recently broken in to.

I instantly knew the thieves had thrown the box and the letters from their car window then, seen worthless to them. That young woman came right away and thanked us for the small but significant treasure returned. It felt very good to all of us and it was obvious who gently insisted I walk the day before. It was our best friend Jesus that the whole family talked, prayed and sang prayers and songs to in that simple but beautiful prayer room for four years. It helped us to be obedient to the voice of the Lord and at many other times we were given great comfort and joy from Him who was always there with us. Sometimes I don’t hear those soft and firm messages from Him. I tell people that story now and then and it is another reminder to me to keep praying and listening. “Be still and know that I am God” He is good, all the time.

That prayer room on main street is now an empty building but that treasure found in the ditch is a reminder of the many treasures we are given. It’s another eternal treasure after all. It’s pretty good, Jack Gator Scribe

Photo of our friend Jon Thurlow worshiping in a prayer room

The Ringing Glass

/ Norman Eric Peterson / Leave a comment

A gathering of believers that desired the presence of God. How do you encourage someone to just watch and silently pray in a filled room? “what are the words?” was asked of me decades ago and there was only one thing I can say. “There are no words”

The poetry of ages past and the age to come are a beginning of those words. Language that rises up as a single leaf of an acorn. Sitting in a prayer meeting that was filled with warfare and strong words filled with fury and signifying nothing. The flowing of the Spirit and shapes the rock and creates a river

Where did all the anger at ‘the enemy’ go awry and turn ourselves into angry people. Stop Him! Pull down the statue and erase the presence of them but it’s no use. That statue is within us and can’t be erased that simply and with an angry attack.

I sat silently and sipped my wine in a delightfully thin glass. Watching in wonder at this thing that had happened to my dear friends. I finished the bit of wine and went to the sink to rinse the glass. I put water in it and swirled it around and rubbed the rim lightly. A song emerged.

Breathtaking song, once again that stops our mind for a second. The sound of a hummingbird nearby or the sweet ruffle of wing feathers from a low flying peloton of geese overhead.

I took my thin glass of new wine and silently went out the door to the porch. I sat in the swing and had a sip and swirled the wine as an aficionado would do. I then ran my had over the rim again while still swirling. Another worship song arose and plunged my spirit into my violin mind. I played along behind my closed eyes as the song rose up and did business with the wind in the high tree nearby.

The wine was gone quickly and other thoughts and visions poured out into me. Can these visions, satisfying and soothing be taught? No whirling dervish or blasting horns of battle can even come close to the ecstatic cradle of the living God. Caught up in His fellowship and finding revealed beauty in the wind and song of songs.

“Daughters of Jerusalem, tell me if you find Him. I am love sick” Gather the oil of gladness and fill your lamps and worship, and wait for the beautiful One to move among us. This is the warfare of Holiness. Sometimes with a shout for sure, but usually with a graceful kiss upon the hearts of His lovers. All around you, in front of you and behind you and within you, He is with you, He is for you, He is for you. It’s pretty good. Jack Gator Scribe

The Games I play

/ Norman Eric Peterson / Leave a comment

My family loves to play games, especially with guests after dinner. Sometimes with old TV dinner trays in the living room. The ones made out of wood that seem wobbly and will spill your dessert on your lap. Almost antiques inherited of course, from childhood, watching Lunch with Casey or Captain Kangaroo while munching on mac and cheese.

My family, especially me, hesitates when the announcement from my wife comes: “Hey, let’s play a game!” Somehow it takes place and I really get into it, but reluctantly at first. Why do I hesitate? I know why, because I play games all day and it would be good to stop for a while.

What games do I play? First one today, try to undo the new toilet paper roll without it looking like the cat shredded it for fun. Next, see if I can get my pants on while standing up without any wobble. Make the bed while counting how many times I have to go to the other side.

My record is twice when the cat does not complicate the game.

Driving to my morning rendezvous with my son and counting how quickly I can dim my head lights just before a car comes before me. If I get them before they do, I win. Best strategy is to see them coming before around a curve ahead. I think it’s courtesy foremost but it is actually my game as I declare; “I win” if I do it first.

It’s fun for me and it distracts me from the tedium and sameness of some of life’s tasks. I realize as I am writing this how much I do this. Counting things is foremost, like chess only my ‘opponent’ is random and usually myself. How many times can I throw the Frisbee perfectly flat and fast for our dog to leap and make a perfect catch? She even plays the game and takes a long run after a spectacular leap and snatch. I call it a victory lap.

The best game is when I swim very early and try to guess how long I will have to wait to get ‘my’ lane (wall lane) and the best part of the game is to see how long it takes me to pray for the other swimmers as they are also up early and playing the game of timing from the big clock at the other end of the pool.

I win the game if I pray for them, the swimmers, the drivers very close behind me in the dark, even the oncoming cars with a headlight out. Then the game becomes a delight and no longer a game of counting but an attitude of gratitude for the opportunity to once again, talk with our Lord and thank Him for His help in giving me delight in people around me. He likes that and I wonder at His smile and laugh when the supposed game turns out to be true life. It’s pretty good.

Jack Gator. Norm’s Scribe

Bullfighter

/ Norman Eric Peterson / Leave a comment

A saying I attribute to Sitting Bull. He spoke of the two wolves inside of us as well. I wondered about this wisdom this morning and ran across more wisdom from Michelle O’Rourke. The little bulls are the battle we have with the little deaths we all must experience in our lives.

The loss’ of physical strength or stability in using what I have left. The bull of my early times swinging spike malls and 16 pound sledge hammers. I agonize over that when I should just join that death with me being the matador and the bull, joined with that blade.

We all have them, those little bulls we embrace. The world inside that speaks failure and personal weakness or loss as the source. To rise up from the sand and brandish the blade and put that snorting thought to death. There are also the worlds many wolves that linger, just beyond the glow of our inner campfire. Eyes lit and eager to pounce upon our sense of worth and trample the fire.

That indeed is the leader of the wolf pack, sense of worth destroyer. I think I am worthless because of changes that come to us all. Physical strength, provision fears. What will become of me when those around me see this?

We indeed do change as we approach death. In old age or in disease or accident. All of us.

My favorite quote from Woody Allen: “I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens” Why do I cling so hard to my little bulls when I know they must die with me as everyone knows. Playing games within that Jesus will return and I will just be caught up with Him. Maybe I am akin to Enoch and will just ‘leave’ (after a long life) or Elijah who ascends in a flamed out custom chariot with really fancy custom wheels.

Better to listen to our God with his Mighty hand and outstretched arm that delivers time after time and tells me how much He loves me and will never leave me. Loves me the way only He does.

Many times He has shown me my true worth. Small things that are even bigger than the wolves that whisper and howl. He says, “Go here and talk to someone I will show to you” A purpose and all I have got within me. The reason I have had things happen that I can’t explain as excellent and good. My life unfolding with a mystery of loss and gain. Not embracing my mind and the abilities that I have been given as my very own brilliance and creation.

Indeed, the blade must go deep and true to put to death all those thoughts of self importance.

Listen to the creator of all things brilliant. He will give you all the encouragement and worth you ever have needed. He will turn your losses, your grief, and sadness into joy as you dance in the light of His light. Sit at His campfire and the wolfs of the world will not dare approach. It’s pretty good. Jack Gator

Old and Useless

/ Norman Eric Peterson / Leave a comment

Not very long ago I was meeting some new people and was introduced to their family. I looked upon one of their children and he said to me “ You’re Old” I agreed and was nonplussed at the child’s observations and his immediate truth telling. Yes, I agreed, I am at least 8 times older than you. I felt a little sting. Aren’t we supposed to say afterwards: Wow you look great! I never would have guessed that you are that old.

I’ve said to several people and meant it too. I’m doing pretty good as my scribe puts it. Very active physically but there are deterioration’s that come with age. The saying is with age comes wisdom! Sometimes.

I can get a bit cranky without any knowledge of the segue to judgment. Usually these days when I am driving and get passed by a roaring vehicle on the double yellow only to have to slow down a half mile ahead as they turn left. Thinking quickly that I am commanded not to call anyone a fool, I use a Russian word and of course, the Lord does not speak Russian.

I indeed am old and gnarly but I have a nice smile. Shoppers at the big box smile back when they see me. Why am I not as blocked or mission focused as others are? They roar by me too, only to turn one aisle ahead and stop with another cart parked in front of them. I just shake my head briefly and cruise by as I look upon the crowded aisle of indigestible instant meals in boxes. I like Ramen but it’s not in that aisle. Betty Crocker meets the Roadrunner on aisle 5.

A piece of wisdom comes to mind from a Chinese story from approximately 2400 years ago. Looking upon a very old and twisted tree and relaxing in its shade were a young man and an older one. The older man said the reason the tree was there for them was it was useless for lumber and so left to grow old and large and give us comfort from the sun. Useful indeed.

The stumps around it testified to many chairs and tables There were no benches there. It indeed had grown well and it was very old. I like that story as gnarly as I am, I indeed am not useless either. You are now reading the wisdom I have read from before Christ our Savior. He does not consider me useless and neither does he consider you useless either. The vehicles that pass me on the highway are just eager people on the highway of Holiness. Perhaps they are eager to meet our Creator and lover. I must embrace that wisdom and I will smile and bless them. I’m getting better! It’s pretty good. Jack Gator Scribe.

Many thanks to Chuang Tzu amd Henri Nouwen.

In Retrospect

/ Norman Eric Peterson / 1 Comment

A beautiful October morning that started with windshield scraping and is now showing the glisten of maple leaves in bright sunlight. Drying just for me to gather and spread onto the strawberry plants within our garden.

It is October 16 as I compose this and I decided to sit in the living room sunlight and read a delightful book, A year with C.S. Lewis. It is a gift to me from one of my mentors and good and loved pastor. I read the quotes and entry for today and realized that today is the day that C.S. Lewis’ The lion the witch and the wardrobe was published in 1950.

I was six years old then and had just entered first grade at Loring Grade School about six blocks away from our home in North Minneapolis. My sister, Diana, was in fifth grade and soon to be in Junior high at Patrick Henry School about six blocks away to the east.

A few years have past since then and I have been through the usual life we all experience. Again, in C.S Lewis’ The problem of Pain, there is wisdom that struck me today as encouraging. This book was quoted in my Calendar for today and the assurance of my life unfolded.

“I have seen great beauty of spirit in some who were great sufferers. I have seen men, for the most part, grow better, not worse with advancing years…” 1.

As the sun advanced across the living room floor, I began to see my life once again. Many interesting escapades and many close calls along with poverty, imprisonment and bitter sarcasm resulting from my embracing that pain.

And yet, somewhat recently, I have begun indeed growing better and not filled with fear and hatred of the world and myself included with it. A gentling and calming that surprises my family and other friends. I still keep my wit and humor but it is now tempered with a romance of life that gently pushes the pain aside. I like it and the opportunities to give the little bit of that transforming Grace from our Lord are coming forth. The thrill of action and prayer abounds when the transformation and healing come forth from Him.

There is great hope and Faith growing within me and those are the very gifts of God.

It’s pretty good.. Jack Gator scribe

1. C.S. Lewis The problem of Pain The type writer photo is the one that Jack and Warnie Lewis used

The Aeolian Harp

/ Norman Eric Peterson / Leave a comment

Wind chimes, the delight of the flutter of blown leaves or the sway of a tall tree from a breeze that can be heard. These simple things generate a delight that can be explained that have never been explored in the emotion we feel.

The sudden pleasure and smile within our spirit is not even noticed in some ways. It’s just there. We are mostly unaware of the two forces within and without of us. There is a sudden flash of lighting and the instant thunder that shakes the house as the imprint on our retina starts to fade from the sun hot blaze strike.

We can then tremble at the power and fear felt or immediately be amazed in delight at the impossible power in a cloud of water. A thought that brings us to our spirit connection and the calm presence of our familiar lover of our soul.

The wind chimes again come to mind. That storm with the wind and thunder may have played a fast tune on them before they became tangled and perhaps so tangled that they could Knot easily be put right. [pun] Are we then to look about the strings and tubes and give up and toss the whole assembly? Or, take hold of the calm and rightness of beauty in the storm and take it apart lovingly, and bring the chimes back to life.

I have begun to see the connection between emotional storms and the music of the Aeolian harp that responds to the storm and gives us the steady center of our being. Full of sound and fury is the world and ourselves if we don’t listen for the calm and clearing skies within us.

“What if all animated nature be but animated harps diversely framed that tremble into thought, as o’er them sweeps plastic and vast, one intellectual breeze,

At once the soul of each, and God of all?” A.

We must be sensitive to nature’s voice if we are to be truly human. This is the whisper of God’s voice to us. I was at a prayer meeting where we were told to find a place where we could, in isolation, pray. I chose to go outside and sit on a porch. I began to hear wind and watched a very tall tree swaying it’s top. Prayer seemed unnecessary. As I heard the breath of God tell me, once again the old saying of no one really knows where the wind comes from and wither it goes. He was telling me that His breath indeed is the breath inside my lungs I can now use this inward gift to praise Him and live in His presence. An Aeolian harp sings and it’s pretty good. Jack Gator

1. Colerigdge Many thanks to the writing of Carl R. Trueman

Sweet Georgia Overdrive Band

/ Norman Eric Peterson / Leave a comment

It’s a real easy thing to do with music, if you play that is. If you play in front of people. A hushed room, listening to every key change, every high tempo from the kick drum. Listening when the whole outfit stops playing and just sings Capella. Most everyone in the band knows their parts and if the sound engineer knows their stuff, the band knows what everyone else is doing at any one time. Applause if you do it right and stay in key. Play off key, just surround it with friendly melody and no one will ever know the mistake. 1,.

The problem begins when you have a ‘gig’ (music world for job to play) and are really not in the mood, tired and just beating yourself up about the gestalt of performance. It’s a huge step to exclusively change from playing every two bit bar within driving range, and change to playing for a worship group or band. After a short while, the change to Holy music from Holly music seems to be harder, much harder. Holy means touching eternity and it’s pretty good!

There is a fallback when you have to play and would rather not. You put your musical skills on the line and play in Georgia Overdrive. Put everything in neutral and just coast. It sounds good but you know it doesn’t sound like anything. Just making the moves. Waiting for a touch from the numinous Lord, waiting to hear ‘those’ notes.

As the joke goes, “it’s OK if you like music” It’s a subtle and yet extremely powerful touch or kiss that thrills musicians. Sometimes you can tell with an ensemble when someone transcends all the sharts and flaps and begins to really play or sing. Rhythm surprises were a favorite fallback for me. I was nicknamed ‘the rhythm monster’ by a square dance group I played with for years. The changed notes or rhythm,they catch attention and start an interest. It can be compared to a flicker of light at sunset in the clouds.

Focus on an unknown algorithm that begins the solving of the connection to the conductor of the music. You can feel Him listening and watching what the Holy music is saying to Him. His delight in the formula found to draw near is palpable.

It’s more than just performing for the Holy one, Jesus. It starts with performance at the outset. Akin to handling a blueprint and ‘playing’ with it. A musical intonation that isn’t too complicated but intriguing. A few fumbled chord changes and the groove is coming into focus. Do your part you hear, it’s just made for you to play.

Use the blueprint to get to the right foundation of the music building and ‘look around’ at the other musical carpenters. They are waiting for the moment too. Suddenly, unexpectedly, a harmonic sounds and two instruments play it together. Improvisation rather than notes on a page. Primitive and not very professional but fun. It’s easier to play jazz if you don’t worry about it. Just play what shows up in your spirit and be delighted when it gets picked up.

Noted gypsy guitar player a generation or so ago, Django Rheinhart was asked what key he wanted to play in. He responded. “Key? What is Key?” Gifted beyond comprehension when he played with Stephan Grapelli on violin. If you can get a vinyl recording of these sessions, hang on to it. It’s worth a bundle. Vinyl, it’s the closest thing to actually being there.

Play well and play with heart and spirit giving you the rhythm and scale of things., It’s pretty good.

Norm / Jack

1. With thanks to Bill Hinkley and Judy Larsen

I am to Love my Neighbor

/ Norman Eric Peterson / Leave a comment

There it is, right in the basic and truthful words of the most truthful man that ever lived and walked among us. Seems like a good idea. At least peace would reign and I would not be so concerned about our mutual fence line, or the other one a bit further away. After all, I don’t want all the land there is! I just desire the land next to mine.

It is easy to circumvent in my mind, after all the words are not ‘Love your next door neighbor’ The second part seems pretty simple, ….As you love yourself. Or it’s companion we use a lot; Hate the sin, but love the sinner.

After all, it is the modus operandi of my life. (That phrase usually refers to a pattern or method suggesting the work of a criminal.) After all, when I do something foolish or worse, that which is called sin, I usually hate that behavior. But, I still go on doing that sort of thing and go on loving myself! Sometimes we hate ourselves, I have said that more than once but eventually come around and realize what a really lovable person I am. I just slip up now and then. Forgive the sin but love the sinner. Does that apply to us? Of course!

How to do this thing, extending my self love outward to another? Recognizing suddenly, over and over again that the people in front of me, behind me, all around me are to be loved as they are by our creator. It can be done, I have done it more often than I thought possible. Sometimes several times a day! I need a storehouse of that sort of love to call upon to do this. Always.

The only way to do this is to fix my eyes and mind and spirit upon everything that is beautiful, right and true. The only way for me to do this is worship the living God Jesus who tells me again how to do this. The way he loves me, the way I love myself. More often now, when I find my mind and my eyes and ears fixed on His words, actions, and His incredible life, then I feel Him near. He is always there, of course. When I feel Him, I feel His breath upon me.

Worship music can help do this for me. Sometimes I forget the many times I worshiped with my beloved team. There were times that were overwhelming with God’s presence shining His face upon us. Suddenly the only response was tears on my instruments. The stains of salt water are still there. Colors of remembrance of timeless love given and felt. The whole team felt it when it happened. That is the reason we see enraptured listeners gesturing, raising hands and weeping. I love it when I see them but know the reasons and intensity that are sweeping through their very being.

Over the internet, in person, even helping produce a visual and audio ‘performance’ of a worship team. When I am awake, then I know when I see things and I hear things in that room. It’s glory and beauty inexplicable and eternal. Astonishingly, things that exist forever. It’s pretty good. Jack Gator Scribe

Kidnapped on my Birthday

/ Norman Eric Peterson / Leave a comment

A glorious summer day, with my entire family and early in the morning we headed to a nearby town for gravy and biscuits for breakfast. What a good way to start my birthday! I was driven past town, confused until it was announce I was being kidnapped and we were heading to the freeway and to Duluth. It was dreamlike to be on the way to visit that city again with it’s delights and crumbled history. It has been years since we were able to do this, and now all five of us were on the way to a day trip. What a surprise and honor to have a birthday present such as this.

New business’ and yet, there is a building just a block up from bustling main street, an empty Plumbing and Heating building, now apartments with good views of lake Superior. The rich mercantile shipping headquarters of the upper Midwest, empty. The busy city is now filled with people like us, romantically enticed by the oceanic lake and it’s history. Those warehouses were filled with tons of trade goods from everywhere and also from far north at York Factory on Hudson bay, furs and hides by the bundle to trundle to Europe on ocean going ships. This is Duluth history. Mansions nearby built from the fortunes of lumbering and shipping are now tourist attractions.

The iron ore docks are keeping the shipping going , but the warehouses are empty and the only big ships on Superior are ‘lakers’ with the big holds and hatches for iron ore or coal.

We parked up the hill a block and could smell the coffee roasting from our destination downhill. The street we parked on had it’s charm a bit tarnished by rain eroded old building sites with cracked brick sidewalks. A lone street person half way down, ducked into a narrow hidden alley with her purloined shopping cart and completed the contrast. She was muttering a bit to herself and on her way to …somewhere.

We continued down to the main street. Church bells began to ring from a cathedral visible. It had windows replaced with wood and the building next to it was careworn brick and the windows had no sign of life behind them. Duluth, a fascinating city. Old and new, tightly bound together and bursting forth yet again and again because of it’s beauty.

The streets are steep, bringing memories of San Fransisco and it’s trolly cars. None of those trolly cars exist in Duluth now but the car repair shops do a brisk trade in brake linings. Bicycles abound and a close look at the back gear cluster reveals chain rings about a foot in diameter. They call them ‘granny gears’ and there are limits to them too.

We enjoyed the perfect coffee and then drove down to Canal Park to join the multitude of people also seeking adventure. The bay touring helicopters buzzed about above as we explored the new stores selling remembrances of the boundary waters north of the lake. Beautiful leather handbags and camp gear ready for a portage but they were twice the price anticipated. Forty dollar hats and Kromer caps for half a days wages.

There is a glass blowing shop, open to the sidewalk as incredible things are made and shaped in the small foundry furnace with long rods. Rolled and cut and skillfully made into useful and beautiful creations. There is a skilled teacher there too and we watched as he showed a student how to make a vase with the northern lights colors twisted into it.

We ate smoked whitefish and the best and perfect onion rings. Those rings did not release the onions when you bit into them as others do. Upstairs I went alone into the violin shop and got an estimate on adjusting the sound post of my viola while a pleasant man conversed with me as his wife was trying out a violin among the many hanging above the cellos. The shop is a treasure on the third floor of the Dewitt Sykes building. Made of brick of course. The building not the fiddles.

The rest of the morning I sat on a bench near a sculptured water fountain. Steel fish with water streams coming from their mouths were delighting children as they carefully walked across the pond on flat stones while their parents walked behind them. I watched the people again and this time, alone on the shaded bench, began to pray single word prayers over the ones walking nearby. Peace, strength, connection. Fulfillment as directed by Jesus who was whispering them beside me.

I was delighted to be directed to an older man when my family was lined up inside a very busy, high quality ice cream shop. I did not want to wait in line and sat outside and until I was shown that man. Perhaps my age? I came to him and asked him if I could pray for him. Somewhat surprised when he was standing there he said ‘OK’ and touching his shoulder prayed for him.

Our last stop was at a distillery where we drank bourbon, scotch and brandy that was as good as I have ever tasted. It was as good as the 14 year old stuff that comes from Scotland. A bit more affordable and we could see the distilling piping and tanks where we sat. It was a perfect end to our day up north as the birthday bird flew me back from the birthday palace with it’s forty rooms, just for storing the cleaning up brooms. 1.

Back to the freeway and home while my oldest son and I joked about the billboards we see on our way on Sundays down by the cities. We saw the same ones with ‘Fear the flannel’ whatever that means. Also the man with outstretched arms telling us he will buy our homes instantly. Three of the flannel and 1 of the realtor. (The count on Sunday drives is 4 and six)

What a present, what a delight to be kidnapped on my transition day to being an octogenarian! I am home alone now as my family is off to work. They sacrificed a work day to be with me and it still is precious to me this morning. Life is pretty good. Jack Gator, Scribe

1. Dr Suess ‘The birthday Bird