Contemplating and Playing a Mazurka

There I was, alone in the house with Julie at work at the sweet shop twenty miles south. Our youngest son was waiting for his flight from Kentucky and the weather was turning windy and cold.

The stove was glowing in the parlor and I was attempting to write a column about a short piece on judgment I had just read by C.S. Lewis. I had no ideas and so decided to put the shoulder rest on my old 18th century viola and play a mazurka in the key of F. A few harmonic notes on the A string to start with and I was lost in creating beauty I had been hearing while I read Jack’s wonderful writing.

Does this resonate with you? Do you read or hear someone talking to you and are at the same time completely lost in another world? It helped that I was alone this time. I was reading Jack’s brilliance on our free will to reject our free salvation. A greedy and self serving man that some people say is capable of enjoying eternal life because we are all saved.

You know this man and would anyone deny him eternal happiness? If he stayed enjoying what he is? Free will after all. We were created that way for love can’t exist without choosing who we love. We do not have to judge that greedy man as he has judged himself.

As I began the fast piece it was working pretty good. B then C up to D and then the harmonic of A. An F# now and then. I found the closer to the bridge I bowed, the louder that old French viola would sing. I raced up to the next string, the D string and started to have fun. Even getting the vibrato on the lowest C string as I went to a low D.

Suddenly, I was playing better than I thought and having a great time with double stops and fast grace notes and I began to realize my self judgment of being pretty poor at playing was a mistake.

Judgment is usually my biggest weakness. Lewis wrote that was reserved for the only judge of our hearts. Knowing without a doubt that I am loved in spite of my weakness’ poured over me as the notes flew off that instrument.

It was fun and it was the joy of my creator dancing with me in the parlor, in front of the warm wood stove. He told me to do these things when my muse seemed to be dry. He said play, and he likes play as only a good Father and Son do. The spirit overcame me and I danced along. It’s pretty good.

Jack Gator the Scribe

The Streetcar The Dentist and a Violin

It was in the middle of the last century that as a preteen I was given the task of taking streetcars to the family dentist. I know, it’s sounds like a long time ago. It was. Streetcars were the way to get around town. Everyone knew where they went. As the buses that replaced them, there were placards in front telling destination and the routes were memorized by all. There were transfer tickets, if you asked for one, that enabled the ride to go further in a different direction.

I was five or six years old when I went by himself downtown and further. The only street gangs were young kids that would roll a big snowball onto the tracks. The same thing as throwing a penny off the top of the Foshay tower downtown. It was the tallest building in town and is still there. Now it’s the smallest tall building in town. Word was if the penny hit someone it would go right through them! Terminal velocity of a coin that weighs the same as a hummingbird. The elevator was free but you had to use a coin to use the telescopes. Or just throw one. It was a Nickle which is much heavier but could buy candy as well. A conundrum to a young anti-social Asperger genius. Three Musketeers or a Butterfinger. Tough choice.

So, onto the trolley (which had to switch the electric pickup mast when a change of tracks had to be done) the conductors had neat uniforms and a coin box with a little chrome handle that he would constantly twirl to sort out the coins dropped in. I Still remember the sound. Right hand, kachinka, clatter, kaching, etc. I would Get off on Hennepin avenue and walk down about six blocks to Washington avenue. There was a news stand on the corner and they always had the latest science fiction magazines. Later they hawked Mad magazines along with newspapers from all over the country. The next trolley would take me to the family dentist. Great, fun trip.

The streetcars are long gone, along with their tangle of electric power wires overhead. The tracks are gone and recently, tracks got put back in for fast and quiet streetcars. Metro transit. Every one misses the ding ding bell and the rattle of the glass and chrome change hopper. At least people my age do.

It was much later in the end of the century that I was shopping for my first fiddle and a friend in the string instrument world steered me to that dentist! It seemed the delicate skill sets were just the thing for success. Oliver G. Olafson was the dentist/violin maker. He made 26 of them in the 1950’s The auction houses of today know of him and list his violin work as ‘inconsistent’ mine must be a consistent one.

I bought one and my friend bought one too! We called them by special names and they aged well. Since the dentists name was Olafson, mine became Olie.

My dentist was known in Mineapolis’ instrument players circles and the choice was good and neither of us needed dental care at that time. There was no Novocain for their wallets either. The bow cost was even higher. It’s advice from fiddle pros to spend more on your bow than on the fiddle itself. A local shop had a one star N.R. Pfretzschner bow for a few hundred dollars. The bow is now worth 3 to 6 thousand! It’s a nice bow. Musical instruments get better when they get older. Just like us.

That fiddle of mine is so loud that a microphone is usually not needed in small rooms. It’s a beauty. I am not aware of what it is worth. With age comes wisdom..sometimes. So far I have not been listed as an antique writer but who knows. I can imagine the antique road show now. “We’ve got an 80 year old Swedish model that is a little careworn. Still has hair of sorts and speaks pretty good.” A lot of miles left on this one!”

Actually I have already been bought and the price was impossible to imagine. You know the buyer, at least I pray that is so. He was a master carpenter and worked with wood . He is known throughout the world. Ask me if we meet, I can introduce you to Him. Jack Gator Scribe

Walk and Keep Your Eyes Open

I was finishing up a 2 hour prayer meeting in town and was going to drive to an appointment about a mile and a half away. The appointment was with my chiropractor. .

So when I was walking out to my car, I ‘heard a voice’ in my mind. Akin to remembering a forgotten chore. The strong voice of someone in the family. Undeniable and at times, saying something I did not want to do.

“Walk to your appointment” ‘ “It’s a very good day for a walk” ‘“There is a very nice trail to your right! Your bicycle club helped build it!” Three times I tried to ignore that still soft voice. The soft voice then said; “keep your eyes open” I thought of treasure to be found on the trail and I began walking, now somewhat eagerly. Treasure! No gold or folded money was seen except trash and waterlogged cigarette remnants. “Cross the road” was now ‘heard’ I obeyed. Instantly, after crossing, I saw envelopes in the grassy ditch. Many of them and midst them, a small broken wood box. Dozens of envelopes scattered for 20 feet in the grass.

I began gathering the envelopes. They were all addressed to the same person in a town 20 miles away and all were postmarked with a military return location, Korea from 60 years past. I opened one and a soldier was writing home. Touching base with simple questions: “How is the combine working?” Farm things. The few dozen envelopes and the busted box were easy to carry to my appointment and Intrigued and excited now, I walked back to town and drove home with the treasure.

The last name on the envelopes was familiar and Julie and I called after finding the families last name in a phone book. A kinship girl from there had that name. That young woman answered and told us that the letters were all from her Grandfather and his home was recently broken in to.

I instantly knew the thieves had thrown the box and the letters from their car window then, seen worthless to them. That young woman came right away and thanked us for the small but significant treasure returned. It felt very good to all of us and it was obvious who gently insisted I walk the day before. It was our best friend Jesus that the whole family talked, prayed and sang prayers and songs to in that simple but beautiful prayer room for four years. It helped us to be obedient to the voice of the Lord and at many other times we were given great comfort and joy from Him who was always there with us. Sometimes I don’t hear those soft and firm messages from Him. I tell people that story now and then and it is another reminder to me to keep praying and listening. “Be still and know that I am God” He is good, all the time.

That prayer room on main street is now an empty building but that treasure found in the ditch is a reminder of the many treasures we are given. It’s another eternal treasure after all. It’s pretty good, Jack Gator Scribe

Photo of our friend Jon Thurlow worshiping in a prayer room

Story Teller

It’s our entire existence, a magnificent story that only you can experience and only you can tell well. First person. Truth heard or read. Autobiographical and, if written well and told with skill, captivating. We enter in and become one, fascinated with the passion that reflects all life.

We are the story, everyone is. Nothing has changed since creation. Danger and romance. Power and loss. Intrigue and betrayal. Movies and books abound for us and most of them are stories. Technical and how-to instructions can be stories of sorts too. I draw the line at the periodic table books. Analysis is wonderful if you want the study to understand but it is not the genre of human interest stories.

A good story teller can capture you and hold your attention. I re-read books like that, I watch revelatory movies over and over. Music tells stories in several engaging dimensions.

Audiophiles have vinyl records with tube amplifiers and incredible turntables. They have ‘sharp ears’ and need to tickle them without anything getting in the way. Of course, reminders are OK but Duke Ellington on a micro speaker in a cell phone is somewhat inadequate to the task.

Live music, especially worship, is a story and a lot of time requires invisible people to make the story come alive. My self, I have recently become involved with media production and the amount of technical complexity is incredible. The people I am working and learning from all wear black clothing. Invisible in many ways to camera apertures, they move through the worship platform. Their job is to tell the story of God and his glory. The musicians in front of them do their very best to help listeners to enter an area of our lives, an area where we can be overcome with the joy of uniting with the presence of God. Joining with the sea of worshipers through eternity that sing Holy, Holy, Holy…forever. That story.

My personal story is pretty exciting and I have chosen Matt Damon or Tom Cruise perhaps to be the actors in the upcoming movies. Story telling. Look deeper into your life and you will see the handiwork of God through the sorrows and joy. Your stories we all ache to hear and understand. I want to listen to those stories. Even though they are not be as thrilling as you think they should be, they are. I love to hear people’s stories as they come out of the wilderness, leaning on their beloved. The best stories, It’s pretty good. Jack Gator, Scribe

The Aeolian Harp

Wind chimes, the delight of the flutter of blown leaves or the sway of a tall tree from a breeze that can be heard. These simple things generate a delight that can be explained that have never been explored in the emotion we feel.

The sudden pleasure and smile within our spirit is not even noticed in some ways. It’s just there. We are mostly unaware of the two forces within and without of us. There is a sudden flash of lighting and the instant thunder that shakes the house as the imprint on our retina starts to fade from the sun hot blaze strike. Nicoli Tesla would stand up clap and cheer every time he heard a bolt of lightning. A miracle all of us have heard of the connection between negative and positive EMF. From clouds that can weigh up to a million pounds!

We can then tremble at the power and fear felt or immediately be amazed in delight at the impossible power in a cloud of water. A thought that brings us to our spirit connection and the calm presence of our familiar lover of our soul.

The wind chimes again come to mind. That storm with the wind and thunder may have played a fast tune on them before they became tangled and perhaps so tangled that they could Knot easily be put right. [pun] Are we then to look about the strings and tubes and give up and toss the whole assembly? Or, take hold of the calm and rightness of beauty in the storm and take it apart lovingly, and bring the chimes back to life.

I have begun to see the connection between emotional storms and the music of the Aeolian harp that responds to the storm and gives us the steady center of our being. Full of sound and fury is the world and ourselves if we don’t listen for the calm and clearing skies within us.

“What if all animated nature be but animated harps diversely framed that tremble into thought, as o’er them sweeps plastic and vast, one intellectual breeze, at once the soul of each, and God of all?” A.

Prayer seemed unnecessary. As I heard the breath of God tell me, once again the old saying of no one really knows where the wind comes from and wither it goes. He was telling me that His breath indeed is the breath inside my lungs I can now use this inward gift to praise Him and live in His presence. An Aeolian harp sings and it’s pretty good. Jack Gator

We must be sensitive to nature’s voice if we are to be truly human. This is the whisper of God’s voice to us. I was at a prayer meeting where we were told to find a place where we could, in isolation, pray. I chose to go outside and sit on a porch. I began to hear wind and watched a very tall tree swaying it’s top.

1. Colerigdge Many thanks to the writing of Carl R. Trueman

Where did that Guitar go?

Photo of Schmidt Music building in Downtown Minneapolis

It was supposed to be shipped to Naples, Italy. A complex money deal that went through the mail and that precious Martin D-28 I longed for, was put on a ship or airplane and shipped to me at my APO. It went somewhere else, no one ever found it.

Every time we went into Naples, our home port, I inquired at the local post office and of course, through the Navy postal service for that much wanted Brazilain rosewood, dreadnaught guitar. That one was a D-12-28, which guitar players know is a 12 string instrument, now of high value, In the five figure range.

I really wanted it as I was just beginning to learn guitar and had obtained an Italian Echo model which was OK, but I knew from my limited knowledge and observing vinyl record album covers, that Martin instruments predominated the guitars I saw. I wanted what they played, I wanted to play their songs and I really didn’t know what I wanted but I wanted something beautiful and perfect.

It never came. No one had any idea what became of it. The Echo was quickly sold when I went AWOL in Naples. Along with most of my fancy brooks brothers clothing and Rolex watch. My landlord sold them all as I need the money to escape from a man that had bad intentions for me. He too, was a sailor and I gave him up to the CID as the drug dealer on board ship. Those idiot agents put us both in general population in a marine brig up the hill.

A long story ensued, Escape and Capture (on this web site) After being discharged a year later in Newport beach, I returned to my home town and Schmidt Music store in Minneapolis. I inquired about my Martin 12 string Guitar and they also had no idea where it went. They offered to replace it and pointed to the guitars hanging on the wall. There was no 12 stringed ones but there was a six string D28 and it was the same price, $400 (that was 1967) with case. I took it as they had record of my payment. I Still have it. Brazilian Rosewood back and sides. Worth five figures or so now.

It’s been around the block (Motorcycle diary I) {also found in this web page}I have carried it all over the country. I have played it in a lot of clubs and later as a worship leader in a lot of church’s. I Don’t play it much now, usual excuses. It’s been repaired a few times for free due to me being the original owner.

I own and sometimes play other various precious wood instruments. A French Viola made by C.F. Minel from the late 1800’s, A Gibson A model mandolin made in the 20’s during the Lloyd Loahr era. A violin built by my dentist, Oliver Olaffson, when I was a child. That violin is so loud that most of the bands I played it with that all I heard in my left ear was my playing. (In ear monitors had not been invented when I was doing country western music)

Precious musical instruments that I do not get to take with me when it is my time to cross the bar, [old sailing term for coming to port]

I have begun to realize that property, possessions and riches mean nothing compared to my love of Christ and His love for me and His promises of joy and fulfillment in my life. Wanting something beautiful and perfect is the wish of everyone. That perfection above all things is only found by Crossing the bar indeed. The Cross is the gate to our home port. The bar is removed for us and it isn’t a sand bar. The old sailors knew things like that. It’s pretty good, Jack Gator. Scribe

Sweet Georgia Overdrive Band

It’s a real easy thing to do with music, if you play that is. If you play in front of people. A hushed room, listening to every key change, every high tempo from the kick drum. Listening when the whole outfit stops playing and just sings Capella. Most everyone in the band knows their parts and if the sound engineer knows their stuff, the band knows what everyone else is doing at any one time. Applause if you do it right and stay in key. Play off key, just surround it with friendly melody and no one will ever know the mistake. 1,.

The problem begins when you have a ‘gig’ (music world for job to play) and are really not in the mood, tired and just beating yourself up about the gestalt of performance. It’s a huge step to exclusively change from playing every two bit bar within driving range, and change to playing for a worship group or band. After a short while, the change to Holy music from Holly music seems to be harder, much harder. Holy means touching eternity and it’s pretty good!

There is a fallback when you have to play and would rather not. You put your musical skills on the line and play in Georgia Overdrive. Put everything in neutral and just coast. It sounds good but you know it doesn’t sound like anything. Just making the moves. Waiting for a touch from the numinous Lord, waiting to hear ‘those’ notes.

As the joke goes, “it’s OK if you like music” It’s a subtle and yet extremely powerful touch or kiss that thrills musicians. Sometimes you can tell with an ensemble when someone transcends all the sharts and flaps and begins to really play or sing. Rhythm surprises were a favorite fallback for me. I was nicknamed ‘the rhythm monster’ by a square dance group I played with for years. The changed notes or rhythm,they catch attention and start an interest. It can be compared to a flicker of light at sunset in the clouds.

Focus on an unknown algorithm that begins the solving of the connection to the conductor of the music. You can feel Him listening and watching what the Holy music is saying to Him. His delight in the formula found to draw near is palpable.

It’s more than just performing for the Holy one, Jesus. It starts with performance at the outset. Akin to handling a blueprint and ‘playing’ with it. A musical intonation that isn’t too complicated but intriguing. A few fumbled chord changes and the groove is coming into focus. Do your part you hear, it’s just made for you to play.

Use the blueprint to get to the right foundation of the music building and ‘look around’ at the other musical carpenters. They are waiting for the moment too. Suddenly, unexpectedly, a harmonic sounds and two instruments play it together. Improvisation rather than notes on a page. Primitive and not very professional but fun. It’s easier to play jazz if you don’t worry about it. Just play what shows up in your spirit and be delighted when it gets picked up.

Noted gypsy guitar player a generation or so ago, Django Rheinhart was asked what key he wanted to play in. He responded. “Key? What is Key?” Gifted beyond comprehension when he played with Stephan Grapelli on violin. If you can get a vinyl recording of these sessions, hang on to it. It’s worth a bundle. Vinyl, it’s the closest thing to actually being there.

Play well and play with heart and spirit giving you the rhythm and scale of things., It’s pretty good.

Norm / Jack

1. With thanks to Bill Hinkley and Judy Larsen

The Difference Between Happiness and Joy

At the outset of these two words, there isn’t all that much difference between the two. Jumping for joy or have a happy birthday. There is a vast difference however.

I was not happy when I was in Boot camp but oddly enough, there was a bit of joy that lingers many decades later. I look upon a photo in our gallery which is on a wall next to the staircase going up to the spare room (not the one in Narnia) We are all smiling for the camera, holding our class flags and in our dress blues. We sang for graduations of all the recruits and every Sunday for the church services for the officers and their families. It was pretty good duty. Our choir director was from the Mormon choir and he was very strict and knew his stuff.

I remember most of the names, their voices and where some of them wound up after we moved on to our new duty stations. I wound up in teaching electronics and Morse code at the A school in San Diego. It was pretty good duty and then I got stationed overseas with Comservron Six in the Med. We had formed what was permanent and this is Joy. It is the result of knowing someone beside you is willing as you are to go the limit to death. Love for your neighbor, you know the chapter and verse, it’s in the book of John.

That’s me, third from the left, front row. Fifth class Education Petty officer

It has been written about many times, movies made and statues dedicated to that bond. It is the reason for heroism experienced. It is the essential instruction given us by our Creator. Love one another as I have loved you.

I tried to explain this to the people I know and love in an informal and pleasant Bible study. Very erudite and educated men and all very respectful and delightfully so. We have laughs and we have the stunning moments when truth comes forth from words read and spoken. Our leader reminds me of one of the men in that photograph. We nicknamed him “Father Flanagan” he went on to the Pensacola air station to be a carrier pilot. I remember his voice as we all sang together in the Naval Bluejackets Choir. I still tear up when I hear for those in peril on the Sea

Something happened to all of us and hopefully, has happened to you as well. It was easier for us as it was the 1960’s and the draft caught all young men. It was my first lesson in the joy that lasts…forever. Happiness is self centered mostly and joy expands out from us as radiant beams of smiles and real truth. Truth centered within and will never be destroyed by anything. Life nor death nor angels and powers, present things or things in the future can separate us from His strong love.

You know who He is, everyone does. The giver of truth and creator of true Joy. Eternal Joy that is written on our heart. I don’t go to church for happiness, I go for the beauty of Joy and the confidence of being embraced by the one who made me. Just for now, just for this time to write it down and tell someone that it is not easy and many times hard to embrace this world.

No guarantees of happiness but guarantees of the revelation and reason we are here. To love one another as He has loved us. Before time began He knew me and treasures me. And you. This is Joy whatever may come. Happiness can be found in all the usual places, but Joy can only be found in the romance of God. It’s pretty good. Jack Gator scribe extraordinaire.

I am to Love my Neighbor

There it is, right in the basic and truthful words of the most truthful man that ever lived and walked among us. Seems like a good idea. At least peace would reign and I would not be so concerned about our mutual fence line, or the other one a bit further away. After all, I don’t want all the land there is! I just desire the land next to mine.

It is easy to circumvent in my mind, after all the words are not ‘Love your next door neighbor’ The second part seems pretty simple, ….As you love yourself. Or it’s companion we use a lot; Hate the sin, but love the sinner.

After all, it is the modus operandi of my life. (That phrase usually refers to a pattern or method suggesting the work of a criminal.) After all, when I do something foolish or worse, that which is called sin, I usually hate that behavior. But, I still go on doing that sort of thing and go on loving myself! Sometimes we hate ourselves, I have said that more than once but eventually come around and realize what a really lovable person I am. I just slip up now and then. Forgive the sin but love the sinner. Does that apply to us? Of course!

How to do this thing, extending my self love outward to another? Recognizing suddenly, over and over again that the people in front of me, behind me, all around me are to be loved as they are by our creator. It can be done, I have done it more often than I thought possible. Sometimes several times a day! I need a storehouse of that sort of love to call upon to do this. Always.

The only way to do this is to fix my eyes and mind and spirit upon everything that is beautiful, right and true. The only way for me to do this is worship the living God Jesus who tells me again how to do this. The way he loves me, the way I love myself. More often now, when I find my mind and my eyes and ears fixed on His words, actions, and His incredible life, then I feel Him near. He is always there, of course. When I feel Him, I feel His breath upon me.

Worship music can help do this for me. Sometimes I forget the many times I worshiped with my beloved team. There were times that were overwhelming with God’s presence shining His face upon us. Suddenly the only response was tears on my instruments. The stains of salt water are still there. Colors of remembrance of timeless love given and felt. The whole team felt it when it happened. That is the reason we see enraptured listeners gesturing, raising hands and weeping. I love it when I see them but know the reasons and intensity that are sweeping through their very being.

Over the internet, in person, even helping produce a visual and audio ‘performance’ of a worship team. When I am awake, then I know when I see things and I hear things in that room. It’s glory and beauty inexplicable and eternal. Astonishingly, things that exist forever. It’s pretty good. Jack Gator Scribe

Three Shades of Purple

The death sentence was hovering over all the graduates in the early sixties. The draft. Norm’s classmate, Vern Norton, came home in a box draped with an American flag. I always liked his last name, Norton. It reminds me of a bike I have always wanted, the Norton Commando. It did not seem pleasant to be shipped of to Viet Nam and die in the jungles for a war most of us did not comprehend.

Most of my classmates were still in college or married and had draft deferments. I was 1A and before being drafted, volunteered for the submarine service and was quickly sent off to Camp Nimitz, San Diego. Upon arrival, the laughing Marine DI told me me my draft notice had just been forwarded.

However, some enjoyment ensued as I was recruited into the Blue Jacket’s choir. Singing at graduations and church services for the officers on the base. Three sung notes was enough to either get thumbs up or down to join the choir. The director was a retired Mormon tabernacle choir director and knew music pretty well.

We got to wear dress blues right away and had ‘crows’ sewed on our sleeves so It appeared we were experienced sailors and a little older. Mine was an E6 and the other boots in our basic training were puzzled. I was designated as education petty officer, first class.

Upon graduation I was excited to go on to New London for Sub school and was interviewed with a few more tests. The high school straight A’s in advanced math and a general class amateur radio license at age 12 were the recruiters logical path to the nuclear technician promised. The new interview caught a color vision issue as I could not discern several shades of purple wiring. No tech job for me. No subs. (they are called Boats in the Navy)

A natural move was ‘A’ school as a radio operator and I was immediately put into a teaching position for Morse code and elementary electronics. Weekends off with liberty to visit old friends up the coast was a bonus. I really wanted those dolphins on my uniform though.

Later, serving on the surface Navy in top secret communications, I learned of the accidental sinking of the submarine SkipJack near the Azores. All 99 men lost, the nuclear boat still deep at crush depth. 1965. It might have been me on that boat and I would not be writing these columns nor be the father and husband I am now. The dates are possible, Nukes were new and the Thresher had sunk shortly before.

Saved from my dreams? How and why was I born with a slight color vision problem? It seems there was a plan for my life that has brought me to this place of writing about the one who saved me from an early death.

I am Telling you, the reader, about the plan the creator had for me that does not make sense very often to us. Time and again, I began to see a path that has put me right here. If you examine your life, you can see life changing episodes or decisions that have changed your life as well.

Myself, I was told I would be fired from being published by a newspapers new owner for including Jesus in my columns too many times . I didn’t like that after four years of being published every week (hundreds of columns) It seemed odd to be admonished for being a successful columnist. My readers that I met or knew were encouraged and often entertained by what I write. I assumed the new owner is not a fan of Jesus. I was not allowed to meet with him either. It would have been an interesting conversation.

I quit before I was fired, I was allowed to write a peaceful good by column. That newspapers editor said that he envied my faith. We are still friends. So many things happen in our lives that become path openings to more revealed beauty of the Lord. You know them when you look for them. The good and the bad times, the sorrow and rejoicing. He is with you, He is for you.

Hallelujah! It’s pretty good, Jack Gator